I don't know how to juggle chainsaws.

I dont really think i have ever EVER been this insecure with my life. I dont know what is going to happen to me. Nobody knows what is going to happen to them all the time, but they at least have some idea. I think someone else should put something HUGE on plate. Throw one more chainsaw for me to juggle. I don't want to juggle. I dont know how to juggle. and i dont want to learn. DAMN IT. I'm missing some key ingredients to my life, and i dont know what i'm going to do if i dont get those ingredients soon. You would think that something could go right for me. I miss being happy. i miss things working out. I miss knowing what is going to happen to me. I miss my life because what i'm doing right now can hardly be called a life.