To you, From The Heartborken

My Dearest _ _ _ _,
You suck. You really, really suck. I don't like you. I don't like the things you talk about. You're dumb. You're dumb, and I don't like you. You are just comfortable. That's all you are to me.. comfort. Comfort. I can't talk to you... about anything. We have so very little in common that it blows my mind when i sit and think about it. Ha. Ha. It is blowing my mind right now. You have NOTHING that i want besides the comfort that you offer. I'm not all that attracted to you. We don't really talk about anything. We don't go on dates. Your friends don't really like me. My friends don't really like you, even a little. The only things i can ever say about you are bad. Over the years you've made me cry, and caused me more grief than ANYONE else I've ever been with or even known. You hurt me the most. THE MOST. doesn't that really suck to hear. Well as much as it sucks to hear it sucks as much, if not more, to say. Say, Ha. That's funny. When someone uses the word 'say' it usually implies talking and we don't talk. WE DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT OR REAL. I don't care what you think and who you compare me to with the amount of talking that they do with you, but as for us are concerned we don't talk enough. Seriously, seriously. I could never EVER tell you this stuff to your face because i cant stand to hurt you. As a matter of fact i would do anything not to hurt you. Even if i get hurt, which has been a common theme in our interaction. I GET HURT. no matter what happens i get hurt and, you, you don't feel anything. I have never believed you when you've told me you love me. I have never believed you once. That sucks. You suck. This whole mess that you put me through sucks.
I'm writing you this for you to see. but i know you'll never see it. You'll never even look for it. You wont' know anything is wrong. Maybe one day you'll know how mad I am, and how different everything is now between us. Maybe one day you're going to get it, and for your sake i hope it is soon. You cant treat people the way that you've treated me and expect them to stay around forever. You can't ask that of me, and i can't do it anymore. I'm leaving. I'm not calling. I'm not instant messaging. I'm not trying. this is my goodbye. Last night was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm not that girl anymore, _ _ _ _. I'm not the girl i used to be in eighth grade, that summer before our freshman year when i so foolishly fell in love with you. I'm not the girl you dumped because your friends told you to. Or the girl who was your first kiss the summer of sophomore year. I'm not the girl you didn't take to formal, or the girl you lied to about prom. I'm not the same girl who's hand you wouldn't hold at school, or even really acknowledged. I'm not the girl who's graduation party that you skipped and your mommy came for you. I'm not the girl who you lost your virginity to and I'm not the girl you went on your first date with. I'm the girl who is done taking it, who is done taking all of the crap that you deal me. And when you can be the guy, who loves this new woman that I've become I'll be ready to meet you. I'll give you a hug and a kiss and I'll stop myself from falling in love all over again. When you become the person who can really love someone, I'm not going to be there. You've wasted to much precious time in my heart, I can't do this anymore. I'm done with us.

Goodbye _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, please remember that I will always love you, You're always going to be my first love.