Long, So Long, Overdue (myspace blog)

I dont know if you knew this, but i was doing pretty okay with out you. Thanks for fucking it up. Thanks for storming back into my life. You're a hurricane building from a central, amazingly calm, point to a disaster waiting to happen.
You know, that you ruined my life for a little bit, right? The way you took everything and just shook it up and dumped it out, and the way you gave up on me. The way you fucking left me, for nothing. You left me for nothing, well something. You left me for her word, not even a good friend of yours. You know how bad that seriously sucks. Do you really understand how crushed i was. i put up with so much garabage for so long and then you fucking decided it would all end up being my fault. Yeah, well seriously, Fuck You for that. It was your fault. YOUR FAULT. If i had done something worthy of you hurting me so bad i wouldnt blame the whole damn thing on you. But I didnt, and now I'm going to blame it on you. It was your fault.
I know you're not going to read this, because this stuff isnt important to you, and you dont pay that much attention to me anyway, but i just want to let you know that I could still love you again. Now that you keep bringing it up, and shoving it in my face, I'm going to love you again. I'm going to get hurt agian. Its going to be your fault, and this time, maybe this time i wont forget it so easily. Maybe i wont get hurt, I doubt it. But i'm going to fall in love with you one more time. and maybe, maybe this time I'm wrong.

About today

I hate money. Money sucks. Money hurts. Money shouldn't exist. Money is emotionally expensive.

But without money I can't survive. I can't go to school. I can't go to see my friends. I can't own things. Its not only me, its everyone. Without money nothing works.

Money drives me crazy. Everytime I turn around it is taken away from me. My time is my money, that is why I work. It is why I learn about carseats for 5 hours. It is why I have to do so many things that I don't really want to do.

Money is corrupt and Sick. It doesn't work now, and it never will.

I only find it neccessary to have a blog

I have unofficially reached the breaking point of my life.
The point where my life is made and discovered
or forced to create a pile of ruin on the floor.
Desperately I don't want to be come the pathetic girl
who wasted her potential.

Why blog..?

Here is my logic, I waste 80% of my days on computers,
therefore, carrying a journal just isnt practical.
With that said I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Lets be honest, I'm not, I know that I'm not.
But there are days (not different from today)
Where I'm just broken, and
how do you maintain your purpose when you are broken.
If you know, tell me.

I have had
THE WORST COUPLE OF DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE
these last few days have been hell.
It kind of sucks.
Maybe tomorrow, I'll elaborate
Mabye even later tonight.
Maybe it will be okay.