I'm not gonna write you a love song

Dear Chad.

This is one of the letters i told you i write. Yes, one of the letters. Congratulations, you have one dedicated to you. I hoped I would never have to write one to you. But I am. I guess it is what you wanted. Sorry i didnt pick up the hints you were dropping like they were hot.

I had myself convinced that you had an interest in me. but you are typical guy. typical chad. typically not interested. typically not buying what i'm selling. I wanted you to be so much more than typical. I thought you are so much more than typical. It seems like we're so good together. I mean really, we get along great. Maybe i'm wrong. Maybe the teasing that you do you really mean it. Maybe the jokes werent jokes. Maybe fourth was meant to make me feel good. I'm pretty sure those arent maybes. I'm pretty sure those are positives. I'm positve you dont like me as more than me, more than a friend. I guess thats okay. I guess that is what i have to deal with right? You probably wont change your mind. And i can just imagine how great 3, 2, and 1 are. That makes me sad. Really sad. Thinking about how much you dont like me kind of makes me a little more angry than sad. but its not your fault. so i dont think im going to take it out on you.

Its probably me. Its probably my fault. I come on too strong. Thats not your style. I try really hard, if you only knew that i was trying really hard for you, for you to like me. Even if a little; i just really wanted you to like me. But you insisted on letting me down. That has got to be my hint that i'm not picking up right? The fact that you dont really call me at all. You dont usually text me first. You never really seem that enthused to hang out with me anyway, that is when we did actually make plans. I'm kind of let down. We have hung out once by ourselves, for like a half hour. That sucks. What could i possibly been thinking? I seriously should i have not liked you that much for not ever really hanging out with you. But we talk on the phone soooo much. I guess that could just be talking on the phone and not really being friends, or you even liking me. maybe you just answer and talk because you know im going to call/text. The more i read this, and the more i right this i realize i suck. and it is totally my fault you dont like me. you are perfectly nice guy. I'm a shitty girl. I wouldnt like me very much either.

I hope you read this. Bring it up if you do.
Telephones work in both ways.
I'm taking your hint and not calling.

Jordan.

P.s. I miss you, call me.